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Saturday, February 27, 2016

3 years

Another year, another blog post scratched out in the last few minutes of the day.

Quite different than last year, the snow was not a problem for today’s visit.

I had planned on getting balloons again but big sister didn’t like that idea, so we decided to get some new spring d├ęcor instead.  Big sister picked out the purple humming bird, big brother got the red dragonfly, and together they chose the pink flamingo for the new baby.  The red cardinal for hanging off the shepherd’s hook is for Naomi.  Not the most coordinated theme but the kids are happy and I like to keep them feeling involved.

Discussions over who gets to be next to who.

The cemetery has posted signs with new strict rules about what is allowed to be left at grave sites, and I don’t know when they will begin enforcing it.  I’m using this as motivation to get a real headstone this year and hoping they will let those of us who keep the grass trimmed and neat to continue as we are.

This year has been brutal.  There’s just no other way to describe it.  Our sweet and loving rainbow baby is more baby than I’ve ever had before…  When people asked about her right after her birth, the adjective frequently used to describe her was “feisty.”  She is strong and knows what she wants, which includes having me at arm’s reach for most of her waking and sleeping hours.  I’m not saying this to say I wish it were different – but it does mean there is not much time for reflection or deep thought that is anticipated in blog posts.  We are also in the process of trying to pack up our house in order to list and sell it for a bigger place.

I did not make a cake happen this year, but I did show the kids the video we played at Naomi’s funeral again.  (Next year I need to remember to show them earlier in the day so they aren't crying right before laying down for the night...)  Since I’ve made some new friends who haven’t seen it before, and some might like to see it again, I thought I’d put it in this new post.


  1. Oh Sarah. My heart goes out to you this morning. I feel the pain in this post and it breaks my heart. You are so precious. I wish I could wrap my arms around you. Such loss. Much loving prayer going out for you today.

  2. Thank you for sharing this. I'm a friend of your mom's and you look so much like her!

    Funerals and memories are not really for the ones we've lost, but for us. I'm weeping here for you as you remember your loss but comforted that Jesus knows our pain and suffering and walks with us. May He continue to guide your family to remember our loved ones that are not here with us.

  3. I'll never forget Naomi, or the wonderful life her amazing mother gave her for the short time she was here.
    I think including the kids this way is perfect, and honors her perfectly.
    Sometimes a good cry before bed is OK.
    It's been hard over here too, with our rainbow baby, and I am so thankful for the encouragement you sent my way. I wish we lived closer so we could do the daily life thing together. As it is, thank you for welcoming me from afar.
    I love you Sarah, and yours. May God bless you with a year of jubilee this coming year. I will always remember Naomi.